August 11 2016
It's a natural question: If your last name is Savage, are you even savage, brah? After a ton of debate around here (some enemies were made), we came up with our Most Savage Savages of All-Time, including everybody's Boy Meets World star, Ben "Squinty Guy" Savage. Check out our list at the blog this week.
5. Savage Garden (6% Savage)
This band had two OK songs your sister liked and you obviously didn't, especially when anybody was around. We're putting them on this list because "Truly Madly Deeply" helped our love life in 10th grade (looking at you, Danielle) (girl, you aged good) and because "Cherry Cola" kinda holds up to scrutiny if you like people quickly almost-whispering. Anyway, it's a garden that's savage. That's like, the least savage thing.
4. Ben Savage (29% Savage)
Actor/director/child-star/squinty guy Ben Savage played Cory Matthews on Boy Meets World, and with that role he taught us all about how to be a weirdo nerd who falls in love with a girl with an even weirder nerd name. Moderately savage. The biggest case against him being higher on this list is that that kid wouldn't be shit without Mr. Feeny, the most savage of all teacher-neighbors.
3. Fred Savage (47% Savage)
This actor/director/child-star/smiley guy played Kevin Arnold in The Wonder Years. That's +5 Savage Points. I mean, have you SEEN how hot Winnie turned out? Dayum. Fred Savage is more savage than brother Ben because he's done a lot more with himself, like direct a few episodes of Always Sunny (savage as fuck) and Garfunkle and Oates (also savageeeee). Then, would you look at his 80s get-ups?
2. Adam Savage (81% Savage)
This genius nerd-slash-red-beard and co-star of Mythbusters has been a toy designer, a carpenter, an animator and a model maker. He's given the keynote at SXSW, worked on Star Wars' special effects, and runs the pretty dope website Tested.com. Plus, best of all, he blows shit up like it's nobody's business. Have you seen that episode where he and Jaime had nothing but duct tape to escape an island? Bruh. Savageness: Confirmed.
1. Macho Man Randy Savage (100% Savage)
This professional wrassler showed us the importance of bicep curls, the power of neon pink, and the health benefits of Slim Jims. With 29 championships in 32 years, holding both intercontinental belt and world heavyweight titles at the same time, this dude couldn't get anymore SAVAGE unless he coined the phrase, "Ohhhhhh yeahhhhhhhh!" Which, dude did. Plus, he played minor league baseball, his first wrestling character was basically Spider-man, and he PROPOSED TO HIS LADY IN THE GODDAMNED WRESTLING RING. Macho Man Randy Savage. You were 100% Macho. You were 100% Man. You were 100% Randy. You were 100% Savage. We salute you as the most savage person to ever live! (Ohhhhhhhh yeah brother!)
Wanna join up with the rest of the #teamsavage crew? Oh. You know you do. Get your own Fuckin' Savage tee or tank here.