Stop & Smell the Rosés

Pretty sure the word "Rosé" is French for, "Let's get really fucked up on a boat." So before you head out to get smashed by the pool or on the beach or at some stupid kid's birthday party this weekend (hey if we can't get in the bouncy castle we're going to get drunk alright?) we're putting you on notice: Rosé is the right way. It pairs well with Classic Rock, bathing suits and jumping into cold water at night, naked if you want.

Rosé punches your tongue in the face with flavor. It keeps your day-buzz going like a marathon runner who is also getting fucked up. It's better on ice, but pretty drinkable if it gets warm. Rich people like it on their yachts. Hip people like it straight from the bottle in the middle of an alley at 2 a.m. Winos will drink anything so they like it too. It's a true equalizer. Light taste. Steady alcohol release. Good cold. Decent warm. Famous.

So three cheers for the French. They know their fries, their toast, and their kissing, and apparently how to get us feeling pretty fucking Zen on my back patio every Sunday around 2.

Oh and seriously, anybody got a bouncy castle we can hit up this weekend? We'll pay good money.

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