August 18 2016
If you're like 100% of the office here, your leather wallet is your main wallet ho. That's cool. But can we interest you in cheating on your main leather wallet ho — maybe keeping a secret side-piece in your suitcase for wallet-related emergencies? Why would you risk that relationship? Well first of all it's an inanimate object so you won't hurt it's feelings, and second of all, leather ain't shit versus water. And it can't hold up versus fireworks. And you sure as hell can't drink beer out of it.
These Tyvek wallets?
They can do all three. We tested this ourselves.
Great for that swim-up bar, for water skiing, water tubing, and any other thing you wanna do where you're worried your money might sink to the bottom of the sea, pool, or even hot tub. It's slick like fucking fish. If you want a backup water-resistant wallet that you can take the beach and not worry about leaving it by your side (AKA thieves stealing your shit), just put this puppy in your pocket and enjoy the waves. Pop a few bills in it in Cancun and you're good to go.
Look. We put fireworks inside our Adios Dinero wallet. It survived the test each time, refusing to say "adios" to its life through a round of firecrackers, tanks and smoke bombs. If you want a wallet that can withstand EXPLOSIONS, then just know that these Tyvek wallets are actually Class A Flammable. Not sure what "Class A" means. But I think it means, "Suck it, TNT."
We got our friend Joey to drink a beer out of it. We didn't measure how much the wallet actually held, but if you're dedicated enough, we bet you can do it all night. Plus, let's say you're trapped in the wilderness and need a quick way to drink beer and all you have is your wallet? Boom. You're covered.
We also gave Joey the chance to rip a wallet after all this. If you can't tell by those burly biceps, he's a pretty big dude. He said, "I gave it a pretty hard fucking try." No big deal, Joey. Our Tyvek wallets are just tougher than you. (ohhhhh)
We actually had a bunch of these laying around the office with the thought that they wouldn't survive all the tests. In fact, the two that we started with made it through every experiment. We have more faith in them than we ever thought possible. We can claim that our Tyvek wallets are water-resistant and (pretty much) firework-resistant and beer proof.
We've put them at 50% off this week. Take one off our hands.
Head to the link below to grab one of these monsters for your self.